HOROSCOPE 3 in 1: If you are constantly looking for answers to important questions in life in the horoscope, maybe it's time to have a little laugh - read what the stars say about somewhat lighter topics.
ARIES
What are you like in a uniform?
Perfect Soldier: ironed uniform, shiny shoes, impeccable behavior, superiors represent you as an example to others. In a couple of months you will become a deserter because you were not promoted to a higher rank and you have no one to shout at.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Aries believe that sleeping is too easy and he's challenging himself to see whether he can stay awake all night.
How many Aries it takes to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs, because the Aries are clumsy and rough and they break everything that comes their way.
TAURUS
What are you like in a uniform?
The officer who doubts everything and everyone and trusts no one. That's why he's seriously thinking to patent the pocket lie detector and he would test it on his own mother by asking her whether she loves him or his brother more.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Taurus can't sleep because he forgot to take out his silk bed linen from the washing machine.
How many Taurus it takes to change a light bulb?
None. The Taurus don't like change because their favorite activities are eating and resting.
GEMINI
What are you like in a uniform?
It is easier to get him into a uniform, than the command line. If he is in the Army, he usually ends up in military court because his gun was stolen while he was sleeping at the guard position. If he's a police officer, he will have a disciplinary hearing because he forgot where he left the company car.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Gemini is simply not tired.
How many Gemini it takes to change a light bulb?
Two, of course. It will last the whole weekend, but when they are done, the light bulb will clean the house, speak French and shine whatever color you want ... How do you like that, huh?
See also: Seven unusual things men adore in women. Cute...
CANCER
What are you like in a uniform?
He doesn't look like a cop, doesn't talk like a cop, and has excellent results in resolving different cases. This is because he gets advice from his secret accomplice, the crystal ball, which he hides in the last drawer of his desk.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Cancer worries how his loved ones sleep.
How many Cancers it takes to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it will take him three years of emotional therapy to work through the loss of the previous lamp.
LEO
What are you like in a uniform?
The policeman who stops a car with a pretty female driver, and she manages to convince him to forgive her and not give her speeding ticket with a flattering, and also gives him her phone number. When at the end of the day he calls the number, only after his third call they somehow manage to convince him that he got a veterinary clinic.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Leo thinks about himself and his actions.
How many Leos it takes to change a light bulb?
'What? What do you mean? Leo doesn't change light bulbs' ... He will look for the light of some other bulbs to illuminate the stage as his fans applaud.
VIRGO
What are you like in a uniform?
Favorite among colleagues and chiefs, sweet because she tries to do every work that she was assigned perfectly. That's why the entire police administration handles easier complaints of citizens who found tickets behind the windshield wipers for not having their car washed.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Virgo adjusts pillows and tightens the sheets, until she is completely satisfied.
How many Virgos it takes to change a light bulb?
Let's see ... One to take it off, another to write down when it died and date when it was bought, one more to carefully put ... And ten to redecorate the house where the bulb is, because it was badly decorated. Well, now do the Maths yourself!
LIBRA
What are you like in a uniform?
The sense of justice is desirable in police work, and officer Libra has enough of it. And that's why she doesn't understand why those two neighbors in the fight are so angry with her after their three-hour detailed examination of the causes and origin of their argument.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Libra can't decide what to wear tomorrow.
How many Libras it takes to change a light bulb?
'Well ... I don't know actually, I think it all depends on how much it's gone ... Perhaps only one if it's an ordinary light bulb or two if a person doesn't know where to buy a new one or maybe ...' Come on! Make up your mind, Libra!
SCORPIO
What are you like in a uniform?
She likes guns more than a uniform, so she carries it with civilian clothes, of course, with permission. That's why she has to drive her mother-in-law to ER in the middle of the night, because she heard a burglar in the kitchen so she sneaks up to him and holds a gun to his head, and only then remembers that her in-laws are visiting and that they might have gone to the kitchen to have some water.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Scorpio is doing something else!
How many Scorpios it takes to change a light bulb?
'Who wants to know?...Why do they want to know? Is it the police? What are you accusing me of?'
SAGITTARIUS
What are you like in a uniform?
Usually a sports type of soldier or policeman, and he's good at everything. His career would have been flawless if he hadn't bet his colleagues to hand in a report to his superior in uniform with a red bow tie instead of a tie.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Sagittarius thinks about many things that he could have done instead of going to sleep.
How many Sagittarius it takes to change a light bulb?
'The sun is shining, life is ... one big puzzle, we still don't know what came first: the chicken or the egg, and you're worried about changing a silly bulb?'
CAPRICORN
What are you like in a uniform?
He feels good in a uniform and loves working in it, but in his opinion, he has undeserved bad reputation. It's not his fault that his drivers usually don't stop so he has to chase them, or that he got transferred from the police to the fire department, and a week later a warehouse was burnt.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Capricorn has already taken his scheduled couple hours nap in order to have strength for the night work.
How many Capricorns it takes to change a light bulb?
Zero. Capricorns don't change light bulbs unless they see the possibility of earning good money in it.
AQUARIUS
What are you like in a uniform?
He felt on his skin that uniform doesn't give the slightest extravagance. No matter how hard she works, her superiors just can't seem to forgive her for giving her cap to children to play with during the last investigation, and it eventually mysteriously disappeared.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Aquarius doesn't sleep because they are always on the Internet.
How many Aquarians it takes to change a light bulb?
There will be hundreds of Aquarians and they will all compete to see which out of them is the one that will bring the light to the world.
PISCES
What are you like in a uniform?
The humanism of Pisces is usually incompatible with the work in uniform. If they do end up doing that, they are often the object of envy of their colleagues due to success in discovering the culprits according to the principle: 'He's got a red nose, he's lying for sure, and he who lies, he steals'. And what is worst of all, they are usually right.
Why do you suffer from insomnia?
Pisces dream during the day.
How many Pisces it takes to change a light bulb?
'Whaaat? .... are we out of light? That's a bummer!'
