Where is this going? What are we to each other? What are the two of us? Does he love me or is he just leading me on? Are we in a relationship? - These are just some of the questions that most often bother new couples. He hit on you, you hooked up and now you see each other occasionally, but there's no indication of where this relationship is going?
If you fell in love with a guy, and you're not even sure if he means it seriously with you, or he's just killing time, it's important to find out what's his attitude as soon as possible. Labelling relationship between two people is often not an easy job, because relationships are just like people, complex. However, it is important to know some basic things.
Instead of asking him, as a distressed schoolgirl, 'What are the two of us' and wishing to disappear out of the face of the Earth that same moment, it is better to make him in a subtle way confess whether you are in a relationship or not.
Direct questions can often chase away guys, especially if you don't know each other well yet. We know that boys are, more than girls, afraid of commitment. You don't want him to think you're obsessive, pushy, or that you have too strong emotions for him, so it's best to do things like this:
Give him enough time
You can't just ask someone on the first date if you are in a relationship or not. It takes some time before you even think about the question, 'What are we to each other?'.
Days when a relationship was clearly defined by the famous question 'You wanna go out?' Are long gone. Now these things are done a little more subtle. People first need to get to know each other a little. Go out on dates, spend the night together, talk about some profound issues before you decide if you want a relationship with him.
Make him love you
The best way to make a guy label your relationship is to make him love you, to be madly in love with you. You won't do it by pushing, but simply by being what you are - the best version of yourself and good and kind to him.
Loosen the pressure
The worst thing you can do is to push him to speak up. When it comes to the beginning of a relationship there's a golden rule - less is more.
Let him know that you're not seeing anybody else
It is not necessary to say this directly. Just subtly make it clear that you are not seeing anyone else. You can do this by mentioning that you refused a date, because you're already satisfied with going out with him and so on ... This will calm his insecurity if there is any and make him come forward more quickly, if insecurity was the only obstacle.
Use his name when you introduce him to your friends
When you meet him with your friends, simply introduce him by his name. Don't introduce him as a friend, acquaintance, or something like that. Beside giving him the freedom of choice, this way you open the possibility for the others to start wondering what you are to each other. This small dose of mystery will tickle the imagination of your friends and will put your guy in a situation where he might want to define his role.
Make him meet you with other people
As soon as he wants to meet you to someone, subconsciously he will begin to wonder how to introduce you. This way he will start wondering himself, 'What are we to each other?'
Pay attention to how he introduces you to others. Does he say 'This is my friend', or he gets confused? If he has no problem introducing you as a friend, something is wrong.
Spend time with others
We are not saying that you should go out with other guys, or flirt around to make him jealous. It is wrong and beneath you. It is enough for him to realize that you have your life and your interests, that you are not a loser who will cling to him like a leech.
However, when he sees you in the company of other men, it is possible that he would get a little jealous and wish to make you his.
Invite him to events in advance
Another way to subtly let him know that you're serious, without looking pathetic, is to invite him to an event that should take place a while from now.
Act like you're his girlfriend
Of course, we don't mean caricature of what a girl represents. We mean that you should be there for him, to act as if you really are in a relationship, without having to say it loudly. The fact that you don't know where you stand, shouldn't have too much influence on your behavior towards him.
