Did you know that it only takes about 5 minutes to assess whether you and your loved one have a future together ...
It takes only 5 minutes alone with a couple to assess whether their relationship will last, claimed psychologist John Gottman in 1986. He gathered many recently married couples to study their behavior and tried to predict whether they will stay together.
Six years after the original study it has shown that his prognosis was accurate in 94% of the cases.
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What this experienced psychologist looked for in every relationship, and considered crucial for a long and successful relationship, was a kindness.
He believes that it is necessary for partners to be kind and generous to one another, every day.
The thing is that, while studying the couples and their mutual reactions Gottman found that couples who are in daily conversation calm, kind, caring and generous to each other, are couples with the greatest chances of survival of the relationship.
On the contrary, partners who were nervous, angry and hostile in conversation, did not stay together, just as Gottman predicted.
Partners who didn't stay together didn't necessarily openly show these negative emotions, but the real truth was revealed by their physical reactions that Dr. Gottman measured.
Their sweating and increased heart rate left the impression as if they were faced with a toothed tiger, and not someone who should be their life partner.
Partners who, on the other hand, appreciated and respected each other and were, therefore, kind to each other, are in emotional and psychological considerably more comfortable relationship that has a good chance of survival.