FUNNY HOROSCOPE: How does each sign behave in a horror movie

FUNNY HOROSCOPE: How does each sign behave in a horror movie

Do you run up the stairs while raging maniac with a chainsaw is chasing you, or you run to the door? Who trips over the carpet, and who slips on its own womit... find out in our terrific HORRORRRROSOPE! 

ARIES

He is the one who always plays smart guy, and orders people to divide into couples and wander in the dark in order to investigate the cause of sudden power cut and the source of strange noise ... when everyone knows that it is best to stay together. If it weren't for him there wouldn't even be a movie. Everyone would flee at the first sign of danger, and that would be it.

TAURUS

He passes out in some place hidden at the beginning of the movie, skips everything and wakes up at the end when he passes out once again once he realizes what had happened.

GEMINI

Gemini arms himself with everything that gets into his hands and set traps for the killer in the house and outside. However, his friends fall into these traps, so he ends up by blowing up everything at the very end of the movie.

See also: HOROSCOPE AND CHEATING: GEMINI CHEATS WITH THEIR HEART, SAGITTARIUS IS THE BIGGEST CHEATER, AQUARIUS DOES IT WITH EXPERIENCE!

CANCER

You will recognize him by running up the stairs in a panic instead of hitting the door. And all the time he's screaming and crying, tripping on the carpet, he runs into the toilet in the attic and spends half an hour trying to get out through the toilet window. In the end, when he finally somehow succeeds, he slips and falls on the lawn.

LEO

From the beginning he is trying to calm the panic and organize people, but somewhere halfway through the film, suddenly everyone begins to doubt that he is the killer, even though the audience suspected it from the very beginning. However, at the last moment, he saves a sexy blonde from certain death and becomes a hero ... but only for 5 minutes, because that's how much there is until the end.

VIRGO   

You are the person who, as soon as you all sat around a small fire, took out marijuana and alcohol, and we all know what happens to such characters in movies. You will get killed in the first half of the movie while you are making out in the pantry with sympathy from school.

LIBRA

She's experiencing panic attacks all the time and can't decide whether it's better just to lock herself in a room or get away through the door, and spends most time running away from the killer in the hallways. She will appear from time to time, jumping out of walls and ventilation, and pretty soon goes crazy.

SCORPIO

She realized the first who the killer is because she died first when she slipped on her own brandy womit, falling straight into the arms of a killer while trying to pee. But she appears in flashbacks of other characters throughout the movie.

See also: HOROSCOPE REVEALS: HOW FUNNY ARE YOU

SAGITTARIUS

You secretly admire the killer and his genius and boldness. In his evil deeds you see art and you try to enter his world and flatter him. Yet for him you are just another victim. He will come and get you while you're in the shower.

CAPRICORN

He used to be cool but he lost it when a flock of ducks took a shit in his just spread laundry washed in Ariel, bleached with ACE, softened in Lenor, in mild water. Then he started killing...

AQUARIUS

He is the only men who survive until the end. He wisely stays silent. He doesn't  interfere in other people's conflicts and doesn't stand out too much, until the second half of the movie, when he realizes something about the killer. Then he suddenly turns into the ultimate survivor. Even though he doesn't really know martial arts, he manages to get away from each trap and ambush like a pro, but all covered in blood, wounded, sweaty, panting, dirty and at the last moment.

PISCES

Pisces is usually that hot blonde who screams at every noise and makes men check everything. The biggest fuss comes when her hair entangles in cobwebs or she steps into spilled wine and thinks it's blood and panically stabs someone who's trying to help her.

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FUNNY HOROSCOPE: How does each sign behave in a horror movie

Daily Horoscope

 

Aries Daily Horoscope

Aries

Taurus Daily Horoscope

Taurus

Gemini Daily Horoscope

Gemini

Cancer Horoscope

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Leo Horoscope

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Virgo Daily Horoscope

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Libra Daily Horoscope

Libra

Scorpio Daily Horoscope

Scorpio

Sagittarius Daily Horoscope

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Capricorn Daily Horoscope

Capri

Aquarius Daily Horoscope

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Pisces Daily Horoscope

Pisces

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